Saleama A. Ruvalcaba

The Reason You Keep Saying YES!

Author: Saleama A. Ruvalcaba, MATS

There you go again, saying yes to something else.

You’re already spread way too thin. You’re already way too busy. You already have way too much to do – but you can’t stop saying yes.

One of the reason’s we say yes so often is because we’re nice and, so – we don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.

But there’s another reason we say yes to so many different requests – and the reason has more to do with our lack of focus and understanding our purpose.

You are reading the words of the absolute QUEEN of busyness. Before you get all envious (which is a sin by the way) the busyness I am talking about has nothing to do with fulfilling my purpose in Christ.

No – my busyness was purely rooted in not having any direction from God and looking for purpose ANYWHERE I could find it!

Trust me, that is nothing for you to be envious about!

It’s one of the reasons we stay on social media. As bad as it is to sit on social media all day, it gives us a sense of purpose when people react to things we share. It makes us happy and for the moment we have purpose.

But There is So Much More to Life…

A lot of what I write about has to do with my life prior to becoming a Christian. But I am sorry to say, the craziness in my life, meaning the busyness with no purpose, happened AFTER I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior.

blue and white plastic toy
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As one person put it – I was trying to make up for lost times.

Prior to becoming a Christian I had no understanding of my life at all. I honestly concluded I was just one of the people in the world God didn’t bless. So when I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior – finally I had purpose and I wanted to do any and everything to make up for the pathetic life I had before.

The Harder You Work the Less You Have

Haggai 1:5-6 Now this is what the Lord Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways. You have planted much, but harvested little. You eat, but never have enough. You drink, but never have your fill. You put on clothes, but are not warm. You earn wages, only to put them in a purse with holes in it.”


In this verse in the book of Haggai, God is reminding the people about rebuilding of the Temple. They had returned from captivity to Jerusalem and God gave them an assignment to finish rebuilding the Temple. But the people didn’t care about the Temple anymore. They only cared about their own homes and external lives. They were dying spiritually and not focused on God. And God was warning them that the more they work for external pleasures it will never be enough.

Now before we think so highly of ourselves and look down upon the Jews for their lack of passion, the reason the project had been halted was because of the oppression the Jews endured from their enemies. In other words, they lost hope. Haggai, a prophet, tried to put courage back into the people – but they became comfortable in what they had. Their hope went from God to themselves.

Let’s take my life for example; I had spent my entire life, well into my 30’s feeling like an outcast with no hope or future. In other words, living in oppression like the Jews. Once I became a Christian I found my hope, but my hope eventually led me to staying busy doing any and everything people asked of me because it gave me the purpose I never had. In other words, I became comfortable like the Jews. I was not spending enough time with God in prayer or studying His Word. I was very busy doing work for the Kingdom at my own expense!

Even if it’s not a church, it might be another setting. You take on too much because it gives you purpose – even when you know you should say no!

The Good News

Here’s the good news, lady, God does in fact have a direct purpose for your life but I can assure you, however, it’s not by staying busy and tired and getting nothing in return.

God crafted you perfectly from the time you were in your mother’s womb. The reason you keep saying yes to everything is because you are still searching.

Searching for your purpose is not a bad thing. God created us with unique gifts and talents to be used for His Kingdom to bring people into a relationship with Him; teachers, doctors, artists, hair-stylists, customer service representatives, housecleaners, lawyers, writers…etc! There is something special about you; something unique where your passion comes alive. That is where God wants your focus because that is where He will use you the most!

Saying yes to any and everything is not the way.

Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;


Lady, you aren’t going to win friends or find favor from people by saying yes all the time. Unfortunately, you might find yourself taken advantage of more often than not. When all you do is say yes, people will continue to come to you and it’s not because they like you necessarily, it’s because they need something done and you’re the one to do it.

Free Yourself Today

I don’t want to imply that all people are mean and looking to take advantage of you. They’re not. But the truth is, people live in their own world trying to make life happen and when there’s work to be done people go to those who will help. We’re not always thinking about boundaries of others, so it’s up to you to take care of your life!

smiling black woman with lip gloss in light room
Photo by Samson Katt on

Let us not forget, we have an enemy and although I am referring to people in this post, Satan is the true deceiver. He wants you to forget about him but he is the mastermind behind your busyness.

God didn’t create you to be a yes person to any and everyone. There are certain people in your life who need your yes’s more; your family! They get your yes – but even that requires boundaries!

If you find yourself saying yes to family and to the outside world way too much – it’s time to take a look at your life and ask God to help you refine what’s missing.

If you have a family, your family is priority…period. If you work outside the home, obviously your job is a priority as well. Ask God to help you develop a plan. Schedule every day of your life which includes all of the activities within normal capacity for you and your family.

Next, you must schedule time for you to understand who you are and who God created you to be. It’s time to say no to the world and yes to God!

Psalm 57:2-3 I will cry to God Most High, To God who accomplishes all things for me.  He will send from heaven and save me; He reproaches him who tramples upon me.  God will send forth His lovingkindness and His truth.


I can tell you from my own experience, I spent way too much time doing a lot of nothing and it was not fulfilling at all. God called me to write. When I was too busy running around for other people, I never found the time to write. When I woke up and realized I wasn’t living my purpose for God I let go of everything holding me down.

I have a husband, five children, four of whom are younger and in the home, I work a full-time job, yet through intentional planning, and letting go of unnecessary busyness, I have time for God every day, I read a new book each week, I spend time with my husband, children, work, and I write on this blog!!

Let go today and – do the same today.

You can do it!

Pray and ask God to show you where you need to let go. He will show you. When you pray to Him, He will also help you with the words you need when it’s time to tell people no.

Become a YES girl to God and start living your true purpose through Him today!

~Saleama A. Ruvalcaba, MATS

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