Saleama A. Ruvalcaba

How to be a Confident Woman in 2021!

Author: Saleama A. Ruvalcaba, MATS

Doing a quick search for photos of a confident woman for this blog post, I was bombarded with vulgar images of women sharing obscenities or half-naked. What a sad world we live in when we equate confidence with tastelessness of women!

As you already know, I’m not going to share anything having to do with a bad attitude- because there is nothing confident about it.

Confident women in God are meek and humble and draw their confidence from God and not from the evil empire of Satan which has fooled society into thinking crassness is confidence. If you want to see God use you for His Kingdom, He gives confidence – not Satan.

Prior to becoming a Christian woman, I spent my days watching T.V. and music videos. I too once thought confidence came from having a bad attitude and it’s because of what I was watching all the time. I actually tried at one point in my life to purposely look upset because I wanted to give the impression of my self-confidence.

Feel free to stop laughing now!

It sounds funny but this is how ridiculous we behave when we don’t know any better. When we don’t know God, our life can in fact be ridiculous.

When No One Can See You

I did not have a very good upbringing which is one of the reasons for lack of confidence. I did not receive any positive affirmation from the adults in my life – thus – I was very insecure.

woman showing her hand
Photo by MIXU on

Whenever I’d be in a social setting I was the only person not talking. I lived this way well into my mid-twenties and it caused a lot of problems for me at work and in my personal life. I was hypersensitive about everything. People were uncomfortable around me.

My severe lack of confidence was crippling. In addition to work issues, I never went anywhere with my husband because I was too afraid of what people would think of me. I was alone all the time – and miserable.

I was living in bondage in every sense of the word and this is not how God wants anyone to live!

Maybe you can’t control the past which caused your low self-esteem but you can control your future.

For Such a Time as This

Esther 2:9 “She pleased him and won his favor. Immediately he provided her with her beauty treatments and special food. He assigned to her seven female attendants selected from the king’s palace and moved her and her attendants into the best place in the harem.”


The King of Persia, Xeres, put out an edict for a new queen. Of all the women who were summoned to the citadel of Susa for twelve months of beauty treatments, Esther, a Jew, won the favor of the king and was named queen. Her nationality however, was not revealed to the king at the request of Esther’s guardian, Mordecai, who forbade her to reveal her true identity.

The Jewish people had little authority at this time and especially a Jewish woman. Although Esther had won the favor of the king by becoming queen, there was no guarantee she would ever see her king except for intimacy. Kings at this time usually had many concubines, but the queen had a little more favor. Yet – a Jewish queen might have even less favor had her true identity been revealed.

Talk about the need for confidence!

The True Source

I lived a sad existence when I lived with low self-esteem.

Today, I don’t have to live in that type bondage. No, I did not have the assurance I needed growing up but today I have assurance in Christ!

John 10:10 “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”


I use this verse a lot as a reminder that Satan comes to steal, kill, and destroy every aspect of our lives. Living in bondage to low self-esteem is one way he will destroy your life.

This type of bondage makes you believe people are against you, will laugh at you, or make fun of you. This type of bondage will stop you from living out the purpose God has for you. This type of bondage will stop you from speaking up at work when you might have a great idea. This type of bondage will make you believe you can’t achieve your dreams, you’re a bad wife, mother, or will never find a husband. This type of bondage will make you believe God is not on your side!

He is!

Even When He Seems Afar

An edict was ordered to destroy all the Jewish people at the hands of evil Haman who was born an Agagite, descendants of the Amalekites who hated Israel, the Jewish people.

woman wrapped in blanket walking on sandy shore
Photo by Spencer Davis on

In order to save her people Esther had no choice but to approach the king, (her husband), without being summoned even if it meant her eventual death. Esther ordered all of her people to fast and pray for three days.

Esther 4:16 “Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my attendants will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish.”


The book of Esther is interesting in the fact that God is not directly mentioned at all, yet we can see His presence.

As a Jewish woman with no authority, Esther found confidence in ONE place in order to save her people – and it was through prayer to God!

Esther was successful after praying. She risked her life. But through God she accomplished His plan through her. We can have the same confidence we need if we seek Him!

Confidence isn’t about looking upset, being mean, or treating people horribly. Confidence isn’t about dressing half-naked to get attention. And it is not okay with God for us to live with low self-esteem and not allow God to work in our lives for His purpose.

“So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.”

Hebrews 10:35-36

How can you become a confident woman in 2021? You first must have a relationship with Jesus Christ. If you don’t, please reach out to me and I will pray with you. Your entire life will be forever transformed!

You are reading the words of a woman who lacked confidence in all areas. Today, through daily prayer I ask God to equip me where needed. I pray all day, even at work, over the smallest of details for God to give me confidence in my work. I prayed before I wrote this post for God to bless this writing for you and for His purpose.

I pray every morning for God to help me be the best wife to my husband. I pray and ask God to help me be the best mother to my children.

I cannot do anything in my own will. I pray and ask God to equip me for everything – for His purpose!

It’s time for you to do the same.

Lady, there is so much God has planned for you in 2021, but you are allowing Satan to stop you by keeping you in bondage to low self-esteem.

No more!

Today is the day you pray and ask God right now to give you the confidence you need. He will guide you. He will continue to lead you to people who can help. He will continue to bring you to His Word for reassurance. He loves you!

Be THE confident woman you’re supposed to be in 2021!

~Saleama A. Ruvalcaba, MATS


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