Lead Me the Way!

When We Ignore The Pain of Children

Prayer for Children

They Live A Life of Lies

Author: Saleama A. Ruvalcaba, MATS

In my last post, Little Girl Lost, I talk about the pain we all go through when God isn’t enough for us and so we search and seek for hope and happiness in all the wrong places. We attempt to make life happy with external circumstances by not realizing we will never be happy when we try to make our lives happy. God is the true source of the joy we experience in this life – and unless we seek Him every day we will find ourselves living a miserable existence. We’ll live a lie and never comprehend the truth.

Deuteronomy 4:9-10 “Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them. 10 Remember the day you stood before the Lord your God at Horeb, when he said to me, “Assemble the people before me to hear my words so that they may learn to revere me as long as they live in the land and may teach them to their children.”

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In this verse of Scripture in Deuteronomy, Moses is reminding the people to never forget the wonder of God. Do not forget what their eyes have seen, he tells them. Teach these truths to your children for generations to come, he says. Moses was preparing the people because it’s easy to forget all that God has done for us. Moses was teaching the people to fear the Lord, so that their children and their children would learn to fear the Lord too.

When God is not an active part of our lives it causes us to live in uncertainty and we do not know what to do when we are faced with challenges.

Loneliness

Loneliness Can Cause Internal Pain

I can share countless stories of pain and sadness I felt growing up. I can share countless stories of mistreatment by family and friends. Pain at the hands of others happens every day – to all of us. However, when we do not know how to process pain, we internalize it and we begin to feel as if it’s us against the world. This is why Moses pleaded with the people to teach God’s Word to their children for generations to come.

adult alone anxious black and white
Photo by Kat Jayne on Pexels.com

When I was 10-years-old, I started a new school. I attended another school prior for three years where I had a lot of friends, but we moved and I had to attend another school. It was a big struggle. I never understood why, but at the new school I could not connect with the students.

One day something strange happened. I was sitting at my desk with other students. Our desks were set up in two long rows all connected. I was sitting on the opposite side of two girls who began to have a conversation right in front of me as to who they did and did not like in the class. One girl was asking, and the other girl was answering. The girl who was answering whom she did not like; simply said, “no I don’t like him or her.” Well, when she got to my name, she said; “No, I’ll never like her.”

Again, I was sitting right there and was in complete shock. I had no idea why she felt that way. I don’t recall ever having any real experience with her. I sat at my desk for the rest of the day trying very hard to not cry.

I got home and I told my mother about it and I burst into tears. My mother had absolutely no reaction. For me this situation was the icing on the cake. My mother knew I had trouble connecting – yet she never intervened to help – and this situation meant nothing to her. For some silly reason I had this vision that my mother would actually care and allow me to return to my former school. But that didn’t happen. In fact – nothing happened. I continued to attend that school feeling like an outcast- and knowing apparently at least one person would never want to be friends with me. For that entire school year I never had one close connection.

Train Up A Child

In the Way He Should Go

Should my mother have taken me out of that school and allowed me to go back to my former school? Of course not. We don’t run away from problems to run back to comfort. But my mother should have taught me how to work through my problems.

Proverbs 22:6 Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

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Had I grown up in a Christian home, maybe I would have learned God’s Word and how to work through struggles. My parents could have taught me what God’s Word says about me, that I am loved by God. My parents could have taught me that when people hurt other people, it usually means they’re hurting themselves. “Hurting people hurt people.”

My parents could have helped me learn how to connect with others and I could have learned how to pray to God to give me the courage to connect. In some settings it’s easier to make connections than in other settings. My mother could have helped by inviting some friends over here and there so that we could get to know each other better. Not growing up in a Christian home and not having parents to lead and guide me – I felt like I was living on an island alone -all the time!

That’s what happens when we don’t teach our children God’s Word. They will grow up believing the lies of the enemy. Not knowing who I was in God, that I was truly loved, I lived a life believing I was worthless, useless, and had no purpose.

Do you want your children to grow up believing that?

Are you teaching them God’s Word or are they believing the lies of Satan?

If your children cannot see value in themselves and if you’re too busy to teach them by helping them work through their own struggles – they will grow up unstable, angry – and looking for happiness in all the wrong places. Trust me!


Bring the Little Children to Me

And Do Not Hinder Them

If only we could understand that life isn’t about going to school, college, get a job, and have a family – we might spend more time adding value (God’s value) into our families. We might slow down and realize the sad existence we are setting ourselves up for – only searching for external happiness. From the time our children are young, our purpose as parents is to teach them how to experience God in their lives. Looking back, having friends at that school wasn’t God’s purpose – it was learning how to pray and seek God in times of trouble.

Matthew 19:14 “Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

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Me and my two older daughter’s are currently reading The Lies Girls Believe, and already in the first two chapters we can see how easy it is for young children to fall prey to the lies of Satan. One of my professors in Bible College said this; “Satan does not care if your child is a baby or an adult – he will attempt to destroy their lives!”

Destroy their lives!

Are you intervening for them?

Are you teaching them God’s Word?

Are you preparing them to work through their own struggles?

Don’t Be Misled

Satan is Real

Don’t be misled. You can go to church every week or every day for that matter. You can do all the service you want in the city. You can wake up each day to read your Bible – but if you are not actively teaching your children what you’re learning from God’s Word so they can learn how to fight their own battles through prayer and seeking God – you’re wasting your time. Don’t be misled and think your children are the special children Satan will leave alone.

He won’t.

Your children are being fed lies and dealing with situations that are hurtful. They need YOU to teach them how to work through it – and it’s through prayer and God’s Word. Share personal stories with them about your struggles as a child. Share stories of how God answered your prayers when you prayed to Him. Let them know they’re not alone. Let them know we all hurt when people say or do mean things to us. Remind them that they might accidentally hurt someone and teach them how to communicate when problems occur.

Don’t leave your children on an island by themselves.

They need you – and God – every day!

Pray for God to give you guidance for them.

He will.

~Saleama A. Ruvalcaba, MATS

Dear Lord, help me be wise in your eyes. Help me seek You each day for the well-being of your children, my children, that You have entrusted to me. I pray your Hand of protection for my children. I pray You will guide them and keep them. I need You, Lord. Forgive me for my lack of awarenesses in their lives. Psalm 127:3 “Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him.”

Additional Resources:

Parent Disillusioned

Does the Bible Say How to Train up Your Child?


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