But Now I’m Found
Author: Saleama A. Ruvalcaba, MATS
How many tears fall on your pillow each night?
How many times a day do you cry inside your closet wondering why life has to be so hard?
The inner battle is fierce!
I can still recall as a young girl the loneliness I felt. I sat inside my room crying and wondering if anyone loved me. I did not grow up Christian, but I recall having an awarenesses of God, and I would often ask Him why He gave me the life I had. Why didn’t I have a better life? Why didn’t I have a family who loved me? Why wasn’t I smart? The older I got, I had unwavering uncontrollable feelings all the time. I constantly had terrifying dreams of being lost on a winding highway. These dreams were and sometimes still are, so terrifying to me that I force myself to wake up.
Wake Up? That’s An Idea…
Isaiah 43: 1-3″But now, this is what the Lord says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel:NIV
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I give Egypt for your ransom, Cush and Seba in your stead.”
What if instead of forcing myself to wake up to be free from the fear – I allow God to guide me? When we’re lost in any sense of the word, we need help. We need help to find our way. We need a map if you will, or God to save our souls. When we rely on our own strength to get us through situations, we might find ourselves in more trouble. When we seek help – especially from the one who knows us best – we find our way.
I’ll be the first to admit, if I am driving and get lost – I’ll spend more time trying to figure out my own way rather than pull over and look at a map. Extreme pride and wanting to feel smart will cause me to waste time lost – rather than admitting my limitations to get help.
Are you trying to find your own way too?
What if me and you wake up to the truth; we need Jesus Christ. The extreme pain I endured as a child has had a lasting impact on my life. I cannot shake the cruelty at the hands of friends and family. Even as a believer I am lost and cannot control the inner hatred I sometimes feel. At any given moment I feel out of control.
What have I done to deserve such a pitiful life?
Arise O’ Lord
Psalm 3:7 Arise, LORD! Deliver me, my God! Strike all my enemies on the jaw; break the teeth of the wicked.NIV
Even as believers the grace of God may not be real to us. We still do not understand His love. We still battle within and need God to help us destroy the vicious attacks. We try to create external happiness. When that doesn’t work – we breakdown – crying to God.
God gives us grace and mercy through salvation and through His death on the cross. It’s hard to comprehend. We don’t understand how to accept it. We look at the world around us and envy what others have and question our lives. We don’t understand why God has forsaken us.
But has He?
1: Samual 28:15
Samuel said to Saul, “Why have you disturbed me by bringing me up?”
“I am in great distress,” Saul said. “The Philistines are fighting against me, and God has departed from me. He no longer answersme, either by prophets or by dreams. So I have called on you to tell me what to do.”NIV
A Look At Saul
There was a moment in Saul’s life when all he wanted was God, but then – it all changed. He wanted power and popularity more than anything!
Have you even wondered why God no longer answers your prayers? Like Saul, God stopped answering or guiding Saul because Saul stopped obeying God. He stopped seeking God. He only sought God when he felt he really needed God. By that time, however, God allowed His spirit to depart from Saul. As believers, maybe in the beginning we sought God with all our heart – but as time has passed, we begin to rely on our own strength. We begin to rely on our own grace. Then when we hit a dead end we cannot understand where God is? We cannot understand what’s happening. When God is no longer all we want – our lives spiral out of control.
“Little Girl Lost” do you get it!
Is God really all you want?
Or do you really want that promotion more, a husband, a house, children, more money, popularly? When God is really all you want there’s inner peace that cannot be explained. When God is really all you seek each day – your entire being is focused on Him and His desires for you. If His desire for you is NOT a promotion, not a house, husband, children, more money and popularity, you will have peace about it because external circumstances cannot bring true inner happiness. And you know this – yet you keep trying to find a way to be happy.
As hard as it is to live in a world where we seek to have what others have – we must fight the battle to pray and seek God even more. We must trust in His path for our lives. We must accept whatever His plan is us, because His plan is to proper us through His Kingdom – not our own.
Matthew 6:33 “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”NIV
I don’t where you are in your life, but you must pray and seek God above all things. You’ll never be truly happy otherwise. No matter how many superficial successes you create in your life, it will never be enough – if God is not enough for you. You will always want more out of your circumstances to make you happy and you’ll end up miserable. Satan will make you believe it’s not good. Satan will lie. God will always give you love, grace, and mercy and His love – only HIS love – can satisfy you.
You were saved by grace and your past has no bearing on your future. You are a beautiful child of God. Don’t allow Satan to destroy your salvation. Don’t allow Satan to keep you from God. Your external life is nothing if God is not at the center of it. You are loved by God. Seek Him today, little girl – and be found – set FREE!
Luke 15:6-7 and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.NIV
~Saleama A. Ruvalcaba, MATS