…We Foolishly Turn on Each Other

Author: Saleama A. Ruvalcaba, MATS

Today, November 28, 2020, we find so many people scared and losing hope in the world we live in. But our marriages can and should be a place of safety and hope in a lost and dying world.

I recall a few years ago someone posted a picture on social media of a few celebrities who had happy faces, yet these same celebrities eventually committed suicide. The purpose of the post was to remind us not be fooled. A smiling face doesn’t always mean happiness abounds.

I knew a couple who constantly posted on social media images of their happy marriage. From the outside looking in, they seemed to have a marvelous marriage, however, after a few short years – they were divorced.

You might personally know me and Omar, and from the outside looking in, it probably appears that we have a great marriage.

I think we do.

But don’t be fooled by our smiling faces either. We have many battles. We aren’t perfect. We, too, can allow Satan to get the best of us.

Genesis 2:24 “For this reason a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife and they become one flesh.”

Back to the Beginning 

The foundation of salvation is found inside the home. Without prayer and strong leadership inside the home, the home can and will be destroyed.

Joshua 24:15 “But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

The home expands God’s Kingdom. The home is where the man or father is leading his family. The home is where the father and mother teach their children to grow up to be men and women of God who share the Gospel to expand the Kingdom of God. When the home is under attack, men are not leading the family through God’s wisdom. When the home is under attack, the problems of the world become the primary focus, thus, praying, studying God’s Word, teaching our children the Word of God, serving in church and in our communities will get pushed aside. When the husband and wife are under attack they are not physically intimate, therefore, that closeness with each other and with God drifts away. A barrier is put up toward each other. We then foolishly look at each other as the problem -and not the true source.

Ephesians 6:12 “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of the evil in the heavenly realms.”

The True Source 

Have you ever seen the opening scene of War Room? The main character Miss Clara is watching a couple argue. The man is getting into his car while the woman is screaming at him. We hear Miss Clara’s thoughts as she’s watching the couple; If only people knew who the real enemy is they’re fighting against (paraphrase).

Miss Clara is right.

We foolishly fight against each other and not against the enemy who is trying to destroy our marriage. It does not mean couples won’t have any arguments. They will. But it’s one thing to come to your senses and recognize your true enemy, and it’s another thing to allow dissension to embitter you.

Me and Omar have had to learn how to breakthrough – with prayer – when we are under attack.

However, it doesn’t stop us from being attacked or falling prey sometimes.  

In late October 2016, I found out I’d be speaking at a local women’s group on the topic of maintaining a healthy balance of physical intimacy in marriage. I was so excited for the opportunity! However, the moment I agreed to speak at this women’s group, instantly there was tension between me and Omar. Everything he did annoyed me. Everything I did annoyed him. We bickered on a regular basis. This went on for a while.

It took us several weeks until we realized- we were under attack.

Don’t be blind to attacks. They usually happen when you and your spouse are enjoying good moments, learning and growing, praying, teaching your children about Jesus Christ, sharing the Gospel with others.

Attacks will happen.

Satan will never stop trying to destroy your marriage.

In Love Dare, by Stephen and Alex Kendrick they say; “Love compels us to be on the alert and guard what is most precious to us, to be willing to step up and fight some battles passionately – those that pertain to protecting our spouse and the strength of our union. Many things could destroy our relationship unless our love puts on armor and picks up a sword to protect its own.”

When you surrender your marriage to Satan – HE WILL TAKE IT!

In Reclaiming Surrendered Ground, author Jim Logan, licensed counselor, encourages his clients to say out loud; “In Jesus name and power take back any ground I have yielded to Satan. I announce here and now to the forces of evil that I renounce Satan’s work and ways in my life and I want nothing to do with them.”

Logan says there is something powerful about saying these words out loud.

I agree with Logan.

You can do the same thing for your marriage.

It feels good when we have an understanding of where the true source of evil is coming from but it’s important to remember, however, that knowing who our true enemy is does not stop attacks.

1 Corinthians 16:13 “Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.”

Be Wise

Satan will never stop trying to destroy your home – and your marriage.

Pray. Pray. Pray.

Study your Bible each day. Pray for God’s wisdom.

When Satan attacks your marriage – and he will – pray right away for God’s protection.

We live in a time today which is sad. Your home – your marriage – your family – does not have to be sad. You can rejoice in the Lord for a godly marriage and make the absolute best of this crazy season in our world – with your spouse!

Be wise. Be on guard. When you have an argument remember who your true enemy is.

It’s not your spouse.

Don’t be ashamed of the battles you face. You will always face battles in your marriage…

…but never forget – you have the upper hand!

Pray and stomp on the head of Satan. Protect your marriage from his attacks!

~Saleama A. Ruvalcaba, MATS