No, Really, – Do You?

Author: Saleama A. Ruvalcaba, MATS

There’s a lot going on in our world today – but for now I will shift away from the “world” and talk about marriage. As the end of the year and new year approaches  – ask yourself a question; “How is My Marriage?”

Looking Back 

When I found out I was pregnant with my now eleven-year-old, I was talking with a woman about it. The pregnancy was a huge surprise to me and my husband. The woman I was speaking with was quite bewildered. She could not understand why me and my husband were even intimate if it wasn’t with the intent of having a child.

While at a Bible study one morning, the ladies at my table were having a field day making fun of their husbands for wanting to be intimate with them.

From my personal observation, there is a huge disconnect between intimacy in marriage, and the sacred holiness that God created it to be. Even in most Christian circles, talking or even thinking about being intimate is wrong!?

Sure, most couples are intimate, but are you intimate for the right reasons? Are you intimate simply to have children? Are you intimate (ladies) because you are tired of hearing you husbands complain? Do you know or even care what the Bible says about physical intimacy in marriage? Do you know that when you are physically intimate with your spouse, for the reasons God intended, it is an act of worship to God?

Genesis 2:24 says: “Therefore a man shall leave his wife and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

Do You Have Great Marriage?

Today, I am proud to talk about my amazing marriage! I have a great marriage. That wasn’t always the case. My marriage was beyond bad. I don’t even know words to describe how bad it was. Me and my husband treated each other like enemies. At our wedding reception several people made fun of us saying; “Are you two going to have a big fight after the wedding?”

No, we didn’t have a big fight that night, but we did a few days, weeks, and months after the wedding. We almost divorced. We had no love. We spoke harshly at each other. We didn’t do anything together in a loving manner. We had children during these bad years even though we acted like we hated each other. Intimacy for the sake of having children is not intimacy with love.

Enter Jesus Christ

That all changed when Jesus Christ became our Lord and Savior. Our marriage got better! Through prayer and obedience to God we learned that when we mistreat each other we are sinning against God. Through prayer and obedience to God, we learned how to love each other. Our marriage dramatically change when we finally understood how God views physical intimacy in marriage. We started to apply what we were learning to our marriage.

Proverbs 5:18 “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.”

My marriage got better because I wanted a great marriage! I was tired of the mundane. I was tired of going to church pretending everything was okay. Me and my husband started studying what the Bible has to say about physical intimacy and today we have the marriage we so desired.

Now don’t get me wrong. Our marriage didn’t change because there was more intimacy. Our marriage changed when we learned how God views physical intimacy in marriage. We learned that physical intimacy is an act of worship to God and we wanted to worship God in our marriage.

Do you have a great marriage? Sure, you might post on social media how great your marriage is. You might even convince yourself it’s great. But let’s keep it real!

Do you have a great marriage?

Do you want a great marriage?

Get on your knees and pray for God to breakdown the stronghold against godly physical intimacy. The foundation of salvation is inside the home. Godly families are raised inside homes where the husband and the wife live to worship God.

It is unfortunate that the worldview of physical intimacy has been distorted so much even Christians can’t bring themselves to even talk about it. But the worldview is not God’s view.

Pray. Pray. Pray.

God wants you to have a deep love for your husband and to worship Him through godly physical intimacy.

~Saleama A. Ruvalcaba, MATS