What To Do When You Want to Give Up?
Author: Saleama A. Ruvalcaba, MATS
While reading a devotion by Charles Spurgeon, this quote from him has stuck with me;
“The most healthy state of a Christian is to always be empty of self and constantly depending on the Lord for supply.”
This quote really uplifted me the day I read it. Life is hard. We pray. Then we pray again. Then we pray again – and again.
Do you ever get worried because you think maybe God is tired of hearing from you? Do you think he’s done answering your prayers?
I know I feel that way sometimes.
Spurgeon continues; If God gave us favors without forcing us to pray for them we would never know how poor we are.”
In other words, if God simply blessed our lives without prayer, why would we even need God?
I know most of the people who know me and Omar won’t believe this, but when we first asked Jesus to be our Lord and Savior, Omar did not dive in headfirst. He went to church and he did some simple praying, but I knew in my heart our life would change spiritually once Omar became the spiritual leader in our home. I prayed for him on a regular basis. I talked to him constantly about it. He wasn’t opposed to it, really, he just didn’t take seriously his role as the leader in our home.
One day after Bible study at church, I walked to the church bookstore to buy him a new Bible. I thought maybe that would encourage him.
It did for a short while.
I regularly sent him text of Scripture to encourage him.
It did encourage him – for that moment.
A few years ago me and Omar were going through our Bible study, and we came across a familiar passage. I had a note written next to it. The date was May 8, 2011. A pastor in our church had singled Omar out during a Wednesday evening service and read to him Colossians 3:15-21. He encouraged Omar to be at peace with his role as the spiritual leader in our family. I didn’t mention anything to this pastor about my prayers for Omar to become our spiritual leader. This was simply a random act. I thought to myself – finally! Maybe this would make Omar accept his role in our family.
I was wrong.
It actually took Omar about another year of my prayers for him. One day it was like something simply clicked in his head – and he realized the time had come for him to take ownership of his family.
Prior to Omar making this change, our marriage was okay, but it wasn’t great. We didn’t have peace in our home.
Let me emphasize that our marriage at that time was not violent or abusive. It wasn’t bad. There just wasn’t a peace, like the supernatural peace we have today in our marriage.
Since the time Omar finally accepted his role as the spiritual leader in our home, he has developed into a true man of God. He prays for our family. He prays for me. He is loving and caring toward me. Out the clear blue one day, he shared how proud he is of me.
He teaches our children the Bible. He loves to spend quality time with them. He takes Jaden, our son, to men’s Bible study with him. He takes all our kids out and he plays sport games with them. He teaches the Bible at church to students. He has developed into a wonderful spiritual leader for our community. He’s a deacon at our church, Bellevue Baptist Church, an historic church! God has totally transformed him!
If I can encourage you today; whatever you do, do not stop praying for your husband. Unless you are in a situation that is unsafe for you and your family, trust God for your marriage. The home is the foundation of salvation and Satan would love for you to give up. God hears your prayers. It might take time. It might take a few years. But don’t give up. God has a great plan for your husband and for your marriage. Remember that we are in the healthiest state as Christian as we continually depend on God.
Lamentations 3:41 “Let us lift our hearts and hands to God in heaven.”
-Saleama A. Ruvalcaba, MATS
Please remember, this post is not speaking about violence or abuse in marriage. If you are in a violent marriage you should seek help right away!